Grandparents and contact with grandchildren: how permission to apply works after a family split

No. Grandparents in England and Wales have no automatic legal right to see their grandchildren. What you do have is the ability to ask the family court for permission to apply for a child arrangements order. The court decides on the child’s welfare, not on how much you want contact, and permission does not guarantee that contact will be ordered.

This guide explains who needs permission, how the court decides, what it costs, and what you can do before it gets that far.

Do grandparents have a legal right to see their grandchildren?

Grandparents do not usually have parental responsibility, which is the legal term for the rights and duties a parent has. That means the parents decide who sees their children, and most grandparent contact happens informally for that reason. The problem starts when a separation, a bereavement or a falling out ends the arrangement.

The law does recognise that a grandparent can matter a great deal to a child. It simply does not give you a starting right. Instead it gives you a route. GOV.UK confirms that a relative such as a grandparent, aunt or uncle can apply for a court order, as well as people with parental responsibility.

Do you need permission to apply?

Usually yes. Grandparents are not on the list of people who can apply as of right, so you normally ask the court for permission, known as leave, first. You can skip that step if the child has lived with you for at least 3 years, or if everyone with parental responsibility consents.

The rules sit in section 10 of the Children Act 1989. The table sets out the main situations.

Your situation	Permission needed?	What to know
The child lives elsewhere and a parent objects	Yes	You are not entitled to apply as of right
The child has lived with you for at least 3 years	No	The 3 years need not be continuous, but cannot have started more than 5 years before the application or ended more than 3 months before it
Everyone with parental responsibility agrees	No	Their consent lets you apply directly in most cases
The child is in local authority care	Consent of the authority	Without it, permission is needed
The child has lived with you for at least 1 year	No, but only for orders about where the child lives	This route does not cover contact only orders

That last row catches people out. The 1 year rule applies to relatives asking for an order about where a child lives, so it does not help a grandparent who simply wants regular time with a child.

How the court decides whether to give permission

Permission is a filter, not the final decision. The court looks at what you are asking for, how real your connection with the child is, and whether your application could disrupt the child’s life enough to harm them. It is not deciding yet whether contact should happen.

The Act tells the court to have particular regard to these points:

• The Nature Of The Application You Want To Make

• Your Connection With The Child

• Any Risk That The Application Could Disrupt The Child’s Life And Cause Harm

• The Council’s Plans For The Child And The Parents’ Wishes If The Child Is In Care

Your connection is where evidence matters. A grandparent who saw the children every week for years has an easier case to make than one who saw them twice a year, although neither is ruled out. Keep a simple record of how often you saw the children, what you did together and when contact stopped.

You do not usually need a separate step. Form C100 includes a section where you apply for permission at the same time as asking for the order. If permission is granted, the court then looks at the child’s welfare in the usual way, including the child’s own wishes and feelings in light of their age and understanding.

Try to resolve it before court

A court application is usually the last step. It takes time, it can harden attitudes, and the process can be hard on the child as well as the adults. Most solicitors, ours included, would encourage you to try talking first, preferably through a calm and short message that focuses on the child rather than on the dispute.

If that does not work, the next stage is usually family mediation. A mediator is a neutral professional who helps you and the parents agree arrangements. GOV.UK says that if you decide to go to court you’ll usually need to show you’ve attended a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM, first. GOV.UK’s mediation guidance explains that a MIAM usually costs around £120 and that you can attend your own meeting separately from the parents.

You do not need a MIAM in some cases. GOV.UK lists examples including domestic abuse with evidence, risk of harm to the child, urgent applications, or having attended a MIAM or tried another route in the last 4 months. If you attend a MIAM and the parents refuse, you can still apply to court.

What it costs and how long it takes

Step	Typical cost	Notes
Letter or conversation with the parents	Free	Often the quickest way back to contact
MIAM	Around £120	Required before most applications
Family mediation	Voucher of up to £500 may be available	The voucher covers mediation sessions, not the MIAM
Court application on form C100	£270	Help with fees may be available on a low income or certain benefits
Solicitor costs	Varies	Paid separately from court fees

GOV.UK says it usually takes around 10 months to get a court order, depending on where you live and your situation. Mediation or another non court route can be quicker, which is a practical reason to try it first.

A realistic example

Take Ravi and Meena, who are made up for illustration. Their son and his partner separate, and the children now live with their mother. For years Ravi and Meena had the children every Saturday. After the split, the mother stops answering their messages.

They write a short, friendly letter suggesting a monthly visit and offering to meet halfway. That gets no reply, so they book a MIAM and ask the mother to take part in mediation. If she declines, they could apply to the court for permission and a child arrangements order together on form C100. The court would look at their record of regular contact before the split, and whether renewed contact would unsettle the children. It might also decide that gentle steps such as video calls come first and in person visits later.

What tends to help your case

Courts focus on the child, so the way you approach the dispute matters. These points help.

• Keep Messages Short Polite And Child Focused

• Avoid Criticising The Parents In Front Of The Children

• Keep A Record Of Past Contact And Any Refusals

• Be Open To Gradual Contact Such As Calls Before Visits

• Take Advice Early Before Positions Harden

Safeguarding concerns work both ways. If there is domestic abuse or a risk to the child, the court takes that seriously, and it can change both the process and the outcome. Tell your solicitor about any such concerns at the outset.

Frequently asked questions

Do grandparents have rights to see grandchildren after parents separate?

Not automatically. The separation of the parents does not create a right, but you can ask the court for permission to apply for contact if you cannot agree informally.

Can parents stop grandparents seeing grandchildren?

Yes, in the sense that a parent can usually decide who spends time with their child. A grandparent’s remedy is to ask the family court to look at the question.

Will the court always give grandparents permission to apply?

No. The court weighs the nature of your application, your connection with the child and any risk of harm from disruption. Permission also does not mean you will get an order.

How much does it cost to apply for contact?

The court fee is £270 according to GOV.UK, and you may get help with fees on a low income. A MIAM usually costs around £120, and legal costs are extra.

Does the child have a say?

The court considers the child’s wishes and feelings in light of their age and understanding. It does not follow them automatically, and it decides what is best for the child overall.

Next steps

If you are being kept from your grandchildren, the most useful first step is to understand your position before anything is said or sent that could make matters worse. Talk to someone, gather what you have, and decide whether to try mediation first.

Athi Law is a family run firm with offices in Sheffield, Dronfield and West Bromwich. If you want advice on contact with your grandchildren, speak to our family law solicitors in Sheffield and tell us what has happened and what you hope to achieve.